Some days are fine somedays not so fine, I can see the correlation of what I eat. Some of my favorites like chipotle are not agreeing with me these days. It’s been funny because my appetite has been shrunk (which according to my weight may not be such a bad thing). I can’t seem to eat as much either, but then it feels like I am weak and my blood sugar is low. I am treating it like a trial phasse to see what sets me off.
Some days I think why am I doing this to myself and is this worth it? The answer always comes back to the realization of how much I would love to enjoy our baby. I do have thoughts of what if it never happens, should we be looking into adoption more, and am I becoming diabetic. These are just my fears coming forward.
On another topic, I found a job posting for a dream job I would love to have. Strangingly I am feeling discouraged about even getting the application together. I think I am afraid the the outcome of possibly bein a let down. I really don’t want to live my life in fear of let’s down to the point where I am even afraid to try for things I want.
This journey is really taking ahold of my life, more than I realize at times. I want to be proud when I look back on journey, maybe I should start looking at it more carefully from that point of view. I know the only way I can sleep easier is knowing I am trying everything to the best of my ability.
Just my thoughts for this afternoon!