The journey continues, cycle 13 CD3

CD1 came and crushed me as always, I really had hoped and dreamed it would have been the cycle. After 12 cycles I came to the conclusion that I need to look at this journey in another way. I am well aware I have PCOS and possibly something else going on and I need to be more realistic with myself this journey is going to be long and not month to month. I need to look at this journey as a couple of years not a couple more months. If I set the bar higher I think I will not be crushed when another cycle ends, instead I can say I am one cycle closer to getting pregnant. I get so upset and negative with each cycle as they end and that’s just no ok with me. I need to stay positive and hopeful that I will one day become pregnant and create life and know it is going to take longer that I thought.

I really don’t know how my hubby is feeling right now, he doesn’t express emotions like I do, he must have some right? Really I am all consumed with my emotions I don’t feel like poking him to get him to express how he is feeling after another failed cycle.

In expectations news I have my first RE appointment this coming Friday. I am preparing myself for a battery of exams and test. Really I am hopeful she will find something my OB wasn’t looking and she will have a plan that will miraculously make me pregnant.

On the medication front, today is CD 3 and my pharmacy is closed and I need my fermera, so I will take it starting tomorrow CD4 not sure what that will mean for this cycle. It may through my cycle off but who really knows?? Part of my secretly/unreasonably thinks that it could be the small change that makes a difference and that I will conceive because of it. I know it’s a little cray cray but I am all kinds of crazy these days. Oh I have been naughty about taking my metformin, I just am over not having normal bowel movements and so I have been skipping some does unintentionally without freaking out about missing them. Speaking of which I need to take them now! Ii stop taking the progesterone supplements

when AF shows up which is the best part of AF showing up.

Warning TMI Question??? those who have taken the prover vaginally, did you all get applicators? I never got them, just wondering. Also does the excess moisture make you itch?

Busy busy month, this month is going to be another busy month for me. I haven’t even began to catch up my bloggin for last month so I hope to stay on top for this month. Ii am pretty sure with the holiday seasons starting and school starting that the next three months will be busy. This is really rather exciting for me because for the last 10 months I have really had not all that much going on, which has allowed me to relax and try and center myself.

I have been keeping up on my reader, and I am excited there are some positive tests rolling in!!

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