My brain isn’t working anymore….

This cycle I upped my Fermara to 5mg and my ovaries reacted accordingly so I should be ecstatic right?? But I am not, all I can think about is that for the last four months we had one possible egg this time it looks like there is potential for 5 eggs (good news right??). More eggs mean more chances but it also means more missed chances.  I am so was so excited until the IUI (IUI #4) and then I thought, oh my, what if it still doesn’t happen. My dr. briefly brought up the chances of multiples and I quickly shut her up by saying first let’s get pregnant then we will cross that bridge if we get there.

Luckily the holidays have helped keep my mind off TTC this cycle. I am eerily calm. Be not confused thought I still count the days to the end of my TWW at least once a day. I can test on new year’s day!

Thus IUI was more painful of the four; there was a good amount of cramping when he inserted the tube and even cramping (light) till later in the afternoon in my uterus. There was more blood discharge than any of the others which I have to assume came from the tube passing through the cervix. It wasn’t horrible or anything, just not the funniest IUI. It was also with the male dr. which in itself is a huge first. I have always disliked having any man prodding around down there so if it’s not my husband I am usually against it. However maybe since I have had so much poking and probing recently that I am starting to get used to people going in. My husband was in the room so maybe that helped to.

My hubby gave me my trigger shot again this cycle, he is very excited to do them which make me more nervous. This time he poked me a little hard but nothing a few minutes didn’t cure. Strangely I didn’t feel the side effects as strongly as last cycle.  Although my appetite is up!!! Trouble because I have already gained back 3 of the 6 lbs. I had lost. I am totally blaming the fertility meds and not the cookies I have been craving or the extremely lack of physical activity since my last trigger shot. I am in denial but I am content there right now so I will not be pushing the issue until I gain the last three lbs. back at which point I will hate myself.

Other good news was that half of my blood work reports came back and so far everything is neg. meaning I do not appear to have any autoimmune issues interfering with TTC. I did find that 10 vials of blood was a lot. I typically have trouble giving blood as techs have trouble getting a good vein and keeping a good flow. This tech she is a super star! She has done two of my blood works now, both large quantities and she has rocked them both with one poke each and minimal bruising.

Right now I am supposed to be writing a grad school paper that isn’t due until after the holidays but I wanted to get it started so I can relax during the festivities. It really isn’t going so well and my brain is sputtering and not focusing enough to understand the assignment.

Back to my paper I go…


Mrs. W.


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