I survived the last week’s daunting stress of assignments and a baby shower dinner and everything else. I was however pleased that nearly everyone else in the class struggled with the paper that was due.
I have reached a new point in this journey to making a baby. I have stopped thinking about making a baby every other minute and now it’s down to about three times a day. Maybe it’s partially that the holidays seasons are coming to an end and that I started grad school but never the less I have shrunk all the thinking and worrying down to a minimal and manageable amount.
New things I want to start trying outside the realm of western medicine are, acupuncture, chiropractor and herbal remedies (fertilaid). Seeing that I am supposed to ovulate this Wednesday I need to get on the ball for this cycle. I am also really trying to reach my subconscious through visualization so it really knows what I want.
At night I have been trying to meditate myself to sleep via visualization techniques. Strange side effect I have been having crazy dreams again, I don’t know what they mean but I know I don’t like them. They aren’t TTC related at all. They tend to be me all crazy aggressive and fighting sometimes family members trying to hurt them with no avail. Its nuts!
I know I am not supposed to stress on things buts it’s so hard to not be able to control making a baby as it is supposed to be something we are designed to do. I am by no means mad at my body I just worry about the ifs. Manly what ifs of what’s next and can we afford it. By now with the money we have spent on TTC I could have furnished a nursery (not at all that I know because I like to look around).
So that’s where I am at the moment more to come after this week’s appointments!