I am not MIA i have just had some technical difficulties again- due to the fact i am too lazy to go to the desk top computer in our office(room) and not try and post from my Ipad which hasn’t been working since the new updates.
I am in a melancholic state with TTC. I don’t know what direction i am going i feel very uncertain of what the next plan is. One thing i do know for sure it that i want a baby/children. That sentence break my heart to write because i want something so bad and it is completely out of my control. Though i have doubted even that in the last couple of days trying to play devils advocate with myself to see how people who don’t have children what to stay childless.
I had another failed IUI last month which makes 6 failed IUI’s. The positive in that is i produces at least 6 follicles large enough for ovulation, down side none of them stuck.
Do i have endometerosis i don’t know, my doctor does not know and all she says is that it requires surgery and that is a “REAL” surgery. Together me and hubby decided it would be better to know if i had endo because other wise we are wasting our efforts and our emotions for nothing. Sound great right?? Well now i am trying to find out more about this surgery like when we can have it and will insurance cover it. I am even wondering if this is what we should be doing. I am thinking i am going to call the RE office and ask for another consult. With that i am not sure what she will say so maybe i should just call and get another consult appointment.
We are working on proceeding with adoption however i know soon that we have to tell them that we are going stop fertility treatments because we are not allowed to be in treatment for fertility while trying to foster to adopt. Ii don’t want to stop ever until i make a baby but i also want to adopt there in lies a problem.
just another rambling,