This is a strange post but I really just want to feel my body pregnant I long to see two pink lines not just because I would love to have children but because for a year I have worked hard to get pregnant and I just need to know what it will feel like. I sometimes think I could have been pregnant but then my period came so I will never know. I hope my new RE does beta checks so I can just know that the egg and sperm meet and a blastocyst began to form. This may sound crazy and by no means do I want a miscarriage but I just long to feel it and experince it for myself. I know it will happen one day and the journey will be long but it’s just what I am longing for right now. Just the moment where I know our hard work and treatments and procedures did something.
This could just be my estrogen going back up, but today hope is high but my heart is heavy. I long for some good news.
This month is going to be tough as the holidays always are for me, I LOVE LOVE the holidays. I enjoy the decorating, baking, crafting, presents, and dinner parties. This years I know will be tougher than normal as I had hoped to children to celebrate it with. I think I have these thoughts to prepare myself, to lower my expectations so I am not let down or depressed. I know the busy month will kept me distracted, and there is high hopes for good news at the RE office.
Thanks for reading my feelings
- Gettin’ Preggo, The Ol’ Fashioned Way.. (babybellykelli.com)