Happy day

Smile.

I wanted to write a nice happy post today. Though I still worry I am also very happy for this pregnancy.

I have written post after post about the negatives but I really haven’t posted about how truly happy I am to have reach this point. I had lost hope a few times that achieving pregnancy would ever be possible. Now that I am pregnant it’s strange and scary but it all stems from how much we want this baby.

Even though we have been trying for some time it is still shocking every moment I realize hey I am pregnant. This is a true blessing for us and the dream is coming true and funny thing is I keep thinking, I did it once how soon can we try for s second.  I feel selfish for thinking it but it feels so good.  I can’t wait for my belly to grow and to show it off and spread the word. I want to enjoy this even if something bad happens I have what I have right now. If something goes wrong either way my heart will break, at least I can enjoy it while I can.

Yesterday we told my dad at his birthday dinner. When I say we I mean my hubby, he so badly wants to tell everyone. I figured it was ok because I doubt my dad will go out and tell anyone. So it was a win win, hubby got to tell someone and my dad got great bday news. He was very happy for us and it was nice to hear as it’s the first family we have told together. He offered any support he gave give, which is great as I am sure we will need it.

We had a second ultrasound last week so we know the baby is growing just as we hoped for. There wasn’t a lot to see but it was enough to make me feel more at peace. We go back on June 12th for the week seven ultrasound where we should see a heartbeat and more fetal development.

week 6.5 am i still pregnant

Chips Ahoy! chocolate chip cookies

Chips Ahoy! chocolate chip cookies (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

Hi everyone, sorry for my disappearance after my last post.  Nothing bad has happened we had a bit of an impromptu trip to southern California/Disneyland.

 

So my first three betas were; 38, 83, 516 so they doubled as hoped.

 

All I can think about for the last two days is that I am not sure if I am still pregnant. Why, because my cramps are subsiding and I don’t have morning sickness. My appetite has changed back to relatively normal. Sure there are other symptoms still there like my sore boobs, I haven’t felt my boobs up this much this often in my life, I strangely feel like a 12-year-old boy who is feeling boobs for the first time. Why do I feel them up so much… to see if I am still pregnant crazy I know but it’s my symptom.  Food has not really been amazing but I did have a strange craving for famous Ann’s chocolate chip cookies, how I know this is a craving is that never in my life have I wanted them. We were at whole foods when the craving came on so I bought some whole foods brand thinking this will work…WRONG. Went to target and found a box, I even opened the box (ok my husband opened the box) I eat the cookies in the store. While some of you might not think twice about doing this I have been big on never doing this because I was traumatized by my aunt at a young age.

 

I am going nuts over not knowing if this baby is there and is going to stick around. I even start to get some serious mood swings over it. They last about 10minutes and poor hubby gets the blunt of them. Oh other side effect that I don’t know is common but I am running so hot. I could live in an ice box and still be hot. Oh and I have itchy skin all over and if I scratch they turn into bumps. Does anyone else itch? I lathered up in lotion which helped some.

 

My first u/s is next Wednesday I should be 7.5 weeks. My friend and my hubby both think I should ask to come in sooner to help ease my nerves. But I am really trying hard to stick it out. Though I may lose my mind it will be worth it right!!!???? OMG I had a very graphic nightmare last night that I had M/C. Oh my gosh I woke up with a racing heart and great fear. To make matter worse I lied to my hubby again and told him I didn’t know what my nightmare was about. Why did I lie he wouldn’t of been mad or anything, its long to be a long week.

 

I am now going to go finish the box of cookies and take my 2nd prenatal. I got new ones from the health food store and they don’t make me burp B12 or fish and thus I will take them.

 

Fellow TTC’ers once you get a BFP the battle just begins while I am not sad and depressed like the end of most cycles I am going crazy trying to control my emotions of not getting too excited and emotions of is it over.

 

Sorry for my lack of posts I will be back in full force soon!

 

Cheers,

 

Mrs. W

 

Lab test results

Oh my goodness, I really enjoyed all the great feedback I got from everyone after my last post. It was so awesome to be able to tell people because we have only told three other people that are close to us and know that we have been TTC (none are family, that’s the next post). You are all so wonderful.

First to the blood test results, I just got the actual numbers from the OB today.  I did the first draw on Tuesday afternoon after I got the Positive HCG test.  The Hcg level on Tuesday was on the low side of the scale at 38 but my doctor was happy that by Thursday (48hrs later) the level doubled. Ii do not have the number yet for the Thursday test. All I know is she was satisfied and asked if I wanted to retest on Monday to see if the number double x2 by then. Of course I want too!! I need to know now if this is a sticky baby and not something to get my hopes up too high over.  Does anyone think I should worry of the low HCG level??

Now onto things I have done that I probably shouldn’t have done.

First I had a scare Thursday night. I woke up around midnight from stomach pains that were even in my dreams!! I thought maybe my stomach was upset then I thought the worst. I did have some ever so slight bright pink spotting, which only fueled the fear fire. I couldn’t sleep and I couldn’t control thinking the worst was about to happen.  I decided to watch the Grey’s anatomy I had recorded earlier in the night and it didn’t help that was the episode where Grey falls down the stairs nine months pregnant and then goes into labor (sorry if I just spoiled it for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet). I was encouraged to go back to sleep with the Hubby and was able to fall back to sleep. First thing I did when I opened my eyes was to check things out. Good news everything was back to normal aka no more spotting. The worst part of the whole incidence was for some reason when my hubby asked if I was spotting was that I lied and said no. Why??? I don’t know, I guess I didn’t want to scare him too.  How long before I stop checking for AF??  I do it every time which has increased because of the frequent pee trips to the bathroom.

Second thing I did which I know is a big no no is I bought this maternity dress from Target that I had previously spotted and liked and wanted but I wasn’t pregnant. This time hubby couldn’t say you’re not pregnant so shouldn’t get it. Not only did I buy it but I paid full price, again something I don’t love to do because I swear everything goes on sale at target after I buy it. Oh but wait I also scoped out the sale rack which I love to do and found another maternity top marked way down to less than ten buck so I had to buy it too. While the TTC’er in me knows this could bring bad karma the frugal part of me was satisfied. I know i probably wont be that big this summer but i still like it! Oh and i cant wear it to class yet because the pregnant girl in class has the same dress, and yes i was envious when i saw her wearing it after i had already wanted it.

 

Dress i had to have!

Dress i had to have!

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Shirt i paid 6 something for.

Shirt i paid 6 something for.

Can you tell i love the color coral!

While I know those are no no’s we have also been getting a little ahead of ourselves with thinking in the future. We have been trying for so long and all that time I have worked so hard in not thinking too far in the future but as soon as I saw that positive (once the shock wore off) I let all those what if’s and now we can’s come flooding in. For heaven’s sake it’s only been four days and I don’t even feel pregnant and I am already thinking of this and that and all the things we have to start doing right now. Don’t laugh but on that list is; start buying diapers and wipes,  the room we would like for our child is the storage room/gym and so we need to switch all those things to another room, I need to clean the house top to bottom before I get nausea or too big, MONEY, do we buy a house now or wait etc…. My hubby is less than thrilled, in fact I have him cleaning the carpets and the couches right now, to be fare they needed to be done now either way.

Also sorry for taking so long to post, but Thursday I kind of over did it running errands and had a bad night sleep so I laid on couch pretty much all day.

Not sure if I will keep this up but here are the week 4updates:

Symptoms: Sore boobs, peeing frequently, and hot flashes (not sure if this is pregnancy related but it keeps happening)

Thank you all for being so supportive it really makes me so very happy.

Still pregnant,

Mrs. W.

Called the RE for another apt

So for those of you whom follow me you know i see and OB for my treatments (mainly because its covered my insurance). November of last year i saw the RE for the first time and she asked that we do two more IUI with my OB as the treatment plan would be the same with her except insurance wouldn’t cover it with her. Well on the third IUI after i saw her i realized i needed to push for the LAP because i thought i had ENDO, guess what i was right. Since then we where optimistic that we might now be able to conceive after the endo removal. We are currently on out second IUI after the LAP and Tues is the end of the TWW. However i am not feeling optimistic that i am going to get a BFP. Really i am feeling like i need to push for the next level of medications (injectables). I  have decided to ask my father for the money to cover the cycle and to see how it goes.

I called the RE’s office and we have an appointment for May 14! That will be one week into my next cycle.  i don’t want to skip a cycle because of the endo so i will continue on with Fermara from my OB. They also want more labs done and labs for the Hubby. I guess the labs for the hubby are standard for working with his samples basic infectious diseases.

My husband says i am pregnant so all this is wasted effort. I am not so sure my boobs are starting to feel sore and my appetite has changed all signs AF is almost here. I am preparing for it this time. I need to get everything out of the way so when it comes i am not struggling with emotions and pain that interfere with my life activities. I  know this is negative of me but i am trying to avoid the hurt that is going to come.

This month is going to be a good action packed month for me and the hubby. He is on vacation so we are going to drag our butts out and have adventures everyday. The dogs will reap the rewards!

Cheers,

Mr. W

Currently I am supposed to be writing a research paper however focusing hard on the topic is very unappealing. For the last two days the wind has been stirring up my allergies. While TTC especially near ovulation you can’t take just any allergy meds because they will dry you up. Thus I have none of the meds in my house besides Benadryl which would put me to sleep. The only symptom is that I have a sinus pressure headache. No running nose at the moment so I am opting to take Mucinex (non-drying out agent). This is a win win for me it should relive the pressure in my sinus and make my CM extra slimy for my impending ovulation.

Mr. W

Cycle … i lost count

മലയാളം: കൈതച്ചക്ക നെടുകെ ഛേദിച്ചത്

CD14 follicles check…

Ok, had to have my follicle check on CD14 because CD15 lands on a Saturday. Wasn’t sure what I was expecting because last cycle things were all over the place. But I was pleasantly surprised to see three yes THREE follicle all in nice sized. Though Dr. says that the second on my left ovary had some shading and it might not be good. Strange though he didn’t try and move the wand around to get a clearer pic which is what my regular Dr. does. So I am like OK whatever, there’s still two! One is 17mm and the other 2 are 15mm. So I am going back in on Sunday (on call Dr.) to see about triggering that night.

This news is very exciting because my left ovary has been a little bit lazy lately. Which wouldn’t matter much except I am hopefully that my left ovary will produce the winning egg that make it into my uterus. My logic is that the left has less endometriosis than the right has.

This post was interrupted because I had to run back to the office to get my trigger injectable to take on Sunday night and forgoing going in on Sunday for another follicle check, doing this all before the office closes for the weekend. .. Ahh!! my OB office is a mad house there is always a different girl working the front counters and hardly ever do they know how to book the appointments that I need. Then once they figure out how to book the appointment there is never any time slots available with any of the five OB’s. This used to stress me out but for some reason I am getting used to this B.S. of knowing they aren’t going to be able to schedule me in for my IUI because there is short notice (3 days).  Deep breaths!! It’s no wonder my blood pressure sky rockets every time I go in for appointments first I am fighting fertility then I am fighting for appointments.

On to a better topic, what I am going to try this cycle… I am researching what to eat around or after ovulation. I have heard the pineapple core but and all the lists of what not to have i.e. caffeine, green tea, soy products, alcohol… but I am more interested in what to take. Love it if anyone has any suggestions.

For those of you followers sorry I have been a bit MIA lately, I think this was a very melancholy time for me. I have been a bit down on myself and have lack motivation. I know I am not depressed but I am really feeling the effects of the meds these days. No worries as I am sure I will pull myself out of it soon as I am sure I just needed to not fight the feelings and instead let me feel the hurt and sadness of the journey I am on.

Today i am off to celebrate my nieces 12th birthday at an indoor trampoline park, hope i don’t bounce my eggs out!

Cheers, Mrs. W

 

TTC egg hunting

Happy Easter!

For all you TTCer’s out there I hope you are finding yourself and egg whether it be for ovulation or implantation.  I am currently hoping my uterus found the egg and is letting is snuggle into the nice thick lining today.easter egg hunt 2

Normally I try very hard not to watch for TWW symptoms but this cycle it seems like the “correct” dosage of trigger shot was felt across my body. While I am telling myself it is just the trigger shot it is hard not to be wishful that they may be the for real “my body is making its own HPT”.easter egg 3

Obvious symptoms:

Nipples are more tender than normal. I can normally pull pretty hard on my nipples and yank them around, now it hurts to squeeze them. Hmmm this may sound strange but when I have been TTC this long I have done some pretty strange things to myself.

Also the veins in both breast are (I think) darker and more evident. I even asked my hubby to these look different to you. He said no, and that he was the expert of them and they look normal.  So maybe it’s just me and the fact my skin is near see through as it hasn’t seen the lite of day in forever.

My dreams have been vivid almost every night this week.

 

I started the progesterone Friday night, four days later than I normally do so that I could check if I if I ovulated. Ii really hadn’t missed the progesterone for the last month.  Already it is making me nauseous!!! Why of why… my poor body is a roller-coaster   of pregnancy symptoms with no pregnancy.

Oh big thing the last few days I have really started to notice how my lack of exercise is affecting my body shape. My “spare tire” is moving south!!!! Danger Danger not good for myself esteem.  Though I am not gaining any weigh I think my muscle is turning to fat and that my skin is losing elasticity. Nightmare! But I will be upping my exercise now that it is spring time.

With all that in mind I hope everyone has a lovely day today while I am avoiding the Easter candy! Happy hunting~

Mrs. W