Lab test results

Oh my goodness, I really enjoyed all the great feedback I got from everyone after my last post. It was so awesome to be able to tell people because we have only told three other people that are close to us and know that we have been TTC (none are family, that’s the next post). You are all so wonderful.

First to the blood test results, I just got the actual numbers from the OB today.  I did the first draw on Tuesday afternoon after I got the Positive HCG test.  The Hcg level on Tuesday was on the low side of the scale at 38 but my doctor was happy that by Thursday (48hrs later) the level doubled. Ii do not have the number yet for the Thursday test. All I know is she was satisfied and asked if I wanted to retest on Monday to see if the number double x2 by then. Of course I want too!! I need to know now if this is a sticky baby and not something to get my hopes up too high over.  Does anyone think I should worry of the low HCG level??

Now onto things I have done that I probably shouldn’t have done.

First I had a scare Thursday night. I woke up around midnight from stomach pains that were even in my dreams!! I thought maybe my stomach was upset then I thought the worst. I did have some ever so slight bright pink spotting, which only fueled the fear fire. I couldn’t sleep and I couldn’t control thinking the worst was about to happen.  I decided to watch the Grey’s anatomy I had recorded earlier in the night and it didn’t help that was the episode where Grey falls down the stairs nine months pregnant and then goes into labor (sorry if I just spoiled it for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet). I was encouraged to go back to sleep with the Hubby and was able to fall back to sleep. First thing I did when I opened my eyes was to check things out. Good news everything was back to normal aka no more spotting. The worst part of the whole incidence was for some reason when my hubby asked if I was spotting was that I lied and said no. Why??? I don’t know, I guess I didn’t want to scare him too.  How long before I stop checking for AF??  I do it every time which has increased because of the frequent pee trips to the bathroom.

Second thing I did which I know is a big no no is I bought this maternity dress from Target that I had previously spotted and liked and wanted but I wasn’t pregnant. This time hubby couldn’t say you’re not pregnant so shouldn’t get it. Not only did I buy it but I paid full price, again something I don’t love to do because I swear everything goes on sale at target after I buy it. Oh but wait I also scoped out the sale rack which I love to do and found another maternity top marked way down to less than ten buck so I had to buy it too. While the TTC’er in me knows this could bring bad karma the frugal part of me was satisfied. I know i probably wont be that big this summer but i still like it! Oh and i cant wear it to class yet because the pregnant girl in class has the same dress, and yes i was envious when i saw her wearing it after i had already wanted it.

 

Dress i had to have!

Dress i had to have!

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Shirt i paid 6 something for.

Shirt i paid 6 something for.

Can you tell i love the color coral!

While I know those are no no’s we have also been getting a little ahead of ourselves with thinking in the future. We have been trying for so long and all that time I have worked so hard in not thinking too far in the future but as soon as I saw that positive (once the shock wore off) I let all those what if’s and now we can’s come flooding in. For heaven’s sake it’s only been four days and I don’t even feel pregnant and I am already thinking of this and that and all the things we have to start doing right now. Don’t laugh but on that list is; start buying diapers and wipes,  the room we would like for our child is the storage room/gym and so we need to switch all those things to another room, I need to clean the house top to bottom before I get nausea or too big, MONEY, do we buy a house now or wait etc…. My hubby is less than thrilled, in fact I have him cleaning the carpets and the couches right now, to be fare they needed to be done now either way.

Also sorry for taking so long to post, but Thursday I kind of over did it running errands and had a bad night sleep so I laid on couch pretty much all day.

Not sure if I will keep this up but here are the week 4updates:

Symptoms: Sore boobs, peeing frequently, and hot flashes (not sure if this is pregnancy related but it keeps happening)

Thank you all for being so supportive it really makes me so very happy.

Still pregnant,

Mrs. W.

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Be prepare to beblown away

Are you sitting down??

Tuesday AM when i still had not seen AF i decided to do a HCG test. Nothing to abnormal right, another cycle another preg test. Well to be utter shock i got a BFP.

If you have been following my last few post i had written this cycle off and was looking into IVF. So i think i still don’t believe it to be true and either does hubby. Really i still keep check to see if Af is coming and with every lil cramp i think “Oh there it is”. I emailed my OB and she sent in for blood work. Which i still haven’t received the results from. However this morning i had another positive and tomorrow i go in for the 48hr blood work. Fingers crossed my numbers are doubling!! it will be a big hurdle for us to reach.

I we are in shock and it really isn’t sinking in. In fact when i showed hubby the positive test he went back to sleep after (WTF). I really don’t want to put the cart before the horse so i am not going to let myself get too emotionally attached as we all know so many things can happen in the next few weeks. I was going to wait to post this tomorrow or when we get some blood work confirmation but couldn’t hold it in.

We are happy but in shock and even a little what did we do. I guess this is what happens when you TTC. After nearly and a half and seven IUI’s countless meds we have a BFP. I cant tell you how strange it is to get to write this post, after reading so many others and slightly loosing a bit of hope with each passing cycle. I hope other TTC’ers find hope that it can and will happen for them too. I know it can be hard to read these post, but this is just as much a new journey of uncertainties starting for me.

Keep you posted!

Cheers,

Mrs. W.

Cycle … i lost count

മലയാളം: കൈതച്ചക്ക നെടുകെ ഛേദിച്ചത്

CD14 follicles check…

Ok, had to have my follicle check on CD14 because CD15 lands on a Saturday. Wasn’t sure what I was expecting because last cycle things were all over the place. But I was pleasantly surprised to see three yes THREE follicle all in nice sized. Though Dr. says that the second on my left ovary had some shading and it might not be good. Strange though he didn’t try and move the wand around to get a clearer pic which is what my regular Dr. does. So I am like OK whatever, there’s still two! One is 17mm and the other 2 are 15mm. So I am going back in on Sunday (on call Dr.) to see about triggering that night.

This news is very exciting because my left ovary has been a little bit lazy lately. Which wouldn’t matter much except I am hopefully that my left ovary will produce the winning egg that make it into my uterus. My logic is that the left has less endometriosis than the right has.

This post was interrupted because I had to run back to the office to get my trigger injectable to take on Sunday night and forgoing going in on Sunday for another follicle check, doing this all before the office closes for the weekend. .. Ahh!! my OB office is a mad house there is always a different girl working the front counters and hardly ever do they know how to book the appointments that I need. Then once they figure out how to book the appointment there is never any time slots available with any of the five OB’s. This used to stress me out but for some reason I am getting used to this B.S. of knowing they aren’t going to be able to schedule me in for my IUI because there is short notice (3 days).  Deep breaths!! It’s no wonder my blood pressure sky rockets every time I go in for appointments first I am fighting fertility then I am fighting for appointments.

On to a better topic, what I am going to try this cycle… I am researching what to eat around or after ovulation. I have heard the pineapple core but and all the lists of what not to have i.e. caffeine, green tea, soy products, alcohol… but I am more interested in what to take. Love it if anyone has any suggestions.

For those of you followers sorry I have been a bit MIA lately, I think this was a very melancholy time for me. I have been a bit down on myself and have lack motivation. I know I am not depressed but I am really feeling the effects of the meds these days. No worries as I am sure I will pull myself out of it soon as I am sure I just needed to not fight the feelings and instead let me feel the hurt and sadness of the journey I am on.

Today i am off to celebrate my nieces 12th birthday at an indoor trampoline park, hope i don’t bounce my eggs out!

Cheers, Mrs. W

 

spring time fun spring time fun

Well it has been a while since my last post and I have been rather MIA. Not sure if I have an answer as to why, I think my mind needed a break from TTC thoughts.

spring time fun

spring time fun

Though I have not halted my TTC in fact I had the most on record for follicle checks in one month (for me) I had four checks. The first front runner started on my left ovary which really excited me because I do not have any endometriose

s on my left tube or ovary (compared to the right ovary where I have endo on the tube). Strangely my left ovary has yet to really produce any viable follicle (she is lazy). But that excitement fade as the follicle slowly faded away. But spirits prevail and on my right I had one follicle developing nicely. Why she took an extra week to reach potential who knows (cold be a slew of reasons) but by Thursday she was 22mm(ish) so we triggered.

Shhh secretly I didn’t OPK as much this cycle. Again not real reason why but I just needed so peacefulness and not analytical thinking. I really listened to my body as I feel VERY aware of when I ovulate

these days , I am also aware I am not as accurate as OPK

or the Dr. but after 17months I think I am very in tune with myself.

Oh…I finally had hubby come back for what was my last of four follicle checks. While he is always there for the IUI’s I had never had him come in for a follicle check. This fourth time for the month I was thinking maybe it would be good for him to finally see how it works. Deep down I was hoping this could be the last one….(wishful thinking).

Key TTC finding this month : about 4 months ago I started to trigger at home which was no big deal except I had gotten bad directions so I wasn’t triggering the right dilution, meaning the my triggers where not as potent as they needed to be. No need to fuss though it is what it is, part of the unchangeable past. I think my OB was more upset than I was.  Moving forward I know the correct dilution of 1ml liquid to the dr

y solution and then all the of the new solution SubQ.

IUI was yesterday, and after six previous IUI’s its seems pretty routine now right??? Wrong!!! This time my regular OB preformed the IUI and for some reason my cervix wasn’t open enough to pass the tube through. I  have never had this problem before…. So she said sometime they have to clamp it so its straight. OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOOOOOOh my gosh it was painful and super crampy all at once. This was far worse than any other procedure I have had done. Well sure enough the tip still wasn’t going through nicely so she had to unclamp and get some dilator then clamp again and ahhhhhhh that was the worst. It even bleed a fair bit. Wholly cow I guess it make since now when I read about some ladies having painful IUI’s.

My appetite was even strange yesterday; I eat two whole bagels with cream cheese when normally I can barely eat one. Bagels are our treat on IUI days. While we wait the 40-60minutes for the sperm to get washed we drive over to the nearby bagel shop for breakfast. I

was even hungry for lunch and dinner; I am blaming the trigger shot which is really a dose of pregnancy hormones.

A tasty looking bagel with cream cheese.

Cream cheese on a bagel.

Now we wait two long weeks, and focus on no stress.

brain

My brain isn’t working anymore….

This cycle I upped my Fermara to 5mg and my ovaries reacted accordingly so I should be ecstatic right?? But I am not, all I can think about is that for the last four months we had one possible egg this time it looks like there is potential for 5 eggs (good news right??). More eggs mean more chances but it also means more missed chances.  I am so was so excited until the IUI (IUI #4) and then I thought, oh my, what if it still doesn’t happen. My dr. briefly brought up the chances of multiples and I quickly shut her up by saying first let’s get pregnant then we will cross that bridge if we get there.

Luckily the holidays have helped keep my mind off TTC this cycle. I am eerily calm. Be not confused thought I still count the days to the end of my TWW at least once a day. I can test on new year’s day!

Thus IUI was more painful of the four; there was a good amount of cramping when he inserted the tube and even cramping (light) till later in the afternoon in my uterus. There was more blood discharge than any of the others which I have to assume came from the tube passing through the cervix. It wasn’t horrible or anything, just not the funniest IUI. It was also with the male dr. which in itself is a huge first. I have always disliked having any man prodding around down there so if it’s not my husband I am usually against it. However maybe since I have had so much poking and probing recently that I am starting to get used to people going in. My husband was in the room so maybe that helped to.

My hubby gave me my trigger shot again this cycle, he is very excited to do them which make me more nervous. This time he poked me a little hard but nothing a few minutes didn’t cure. Strangely I didn’t feel the side effects as strongly as last cycle.  Although my appetite is up!!! Trouble because I have already gained back 3 of the 6 lbs. I had lost. I am totally blaming the fertility meds and not the cookies I have been craving or the extremely lack of physical activity since my last trigger shot. I am in denial but I am content there right now so I will not be pushing the issue until I gain the last three lbs. back at which point I will hate myself.

Other good news was that half of my blood work reports came back and so far everything is neg. meaning I do not appear to have any autoimmune issues interfering with TTC. I did find that 10 vials of blood was a lot. I typically have trouble giving blood as techs have trouble getting a good vein and keeping a good flow. This tech she is a super star! She has done two of my blood works now, both large quantities and she has rocked them both with one poke each and minimal bruising.

Right now I am supposed to be writing a grad school paper that isn’t due until after the holidays but I wanted to get it started so I can relax during the festivities. It really isn’t going so well and my brain is sputtering and not focusing enough to understand the assignment.

Back to my paper I go…

Cheers,

Mrs. W.

Last cycle for the year and start for next year

You know it’s the end of a cycle when you eat a plate of mini chocolate chip cookies (by yourself) and watch lifetime Christmas movies and contemplate a stiff drink even though you just took a Motrin for cramps. Days like today I wish I was a drinker, I often wonder what happened to the girl I was in college, I drank pretty regularly.

I must say it hurts to know this is another cycle coming to an end with no happy ending, I kind of wish I could of at least made it 14DPO so I could test. I can help but think there is something that the dr is missing maybe there is something else wrong. They don’t seem to think anything else is wrong besides my PCOS. I worry about endometriosis but I briefly brought it up and she didn’t even bat an eye and moved on.

The analyzer in my wants to start researching heavily to see what else I need to be doing. I know there are many other things out there to try. I will start back on the CoQ10 and maybe order the fertility tea, and I must make an appointment with a chiropractor. Not only has be back been all out of place but I read it may help with fertility. Two birds with one stone would be nice. I really have researched a lot but I feel like I am so unsure what will really help and why others do without it and get knocked up all the time.

It’s time to also start back to exercising every day, I stopped because I was frustrated that it didn’t help me get pregnant, I know you have to do it for a while but I had lost hope in it.

Emotions today : I have cried three times today over TV movies and missing friends far away. Ii am not a big crier so this isn’t the norm for me.

Positive attitude to trying again this month, I have gone back and forth in my mind if we should medicate again this cycle or skip one but I know my hubby wants to do all in our powers so I will medicate again. I have no real problem with it at all.

Does anyone know what it means if AF shows up before 14DPO comes?

 

fear fights with my inner strength

Today is 14dpo (first pos OPK) and 13DP trigger shot and 12 pas IUI#3, that is a mouth full.

I am struggling with anxiety/ fear/relaxing  and staying strong with my inner strength. I know once its determined that this cycle is going to come to an end i will morn, then move on but until then i am a internal basket case. I am trying not to be excited that this cycle could be ‘THE CYCLE” because i don’t want the big let down. I am also trying to relax and let what will be will be. IT IS  NOT WORKING!!! I am scared i want it so much and i am scared it may never happen.I don’t want this fear to take over but it is winning the battle right now.

Progesterone is not helping me feel any better, cray cray side effects are making me feel more crazy than i would be normally. After taking my first dose in the AM i feel louppy (which i must admit feel a bit euphoric) then the cranky sets in coupled with groggy tired feeling. Oh and food is less than appealing but i have to eat to take metformin  ( we all know what happens if you mess that up!). Man oh man i am a hot mess!

Rain rain rain, i love the rain and it is raining steadily here which is a comfort, i feel not obligation to get outside and do anything. However this mean all the cats (5) and all the dogs (4) surround me all day. They are also driving me nuts, they all want something from me and never at the same time. I want to wake up slowly in the AM but no up down up down one pet at a time needs something be it a potty break or food or water. Maybe its the progesterone talking!

I have decided to wait to test until Tuesday if AF doesn’t show up on her own. Is this a good idea or a bad idea i don’t really know maybe i am just becoming cheap and do not want to waste the money on another negative stick.

Also is it just me or are there a lot of BFP in the blog world? I am happy for you all but why so many at once, was there something in the water that i missed out on?

WOW it really feels good to get this all off my chest right now, if i drank or smoked i would think now would be a good time to do so, since i do nether of those things i am having a mocha.

Thanks for reading my rant,

Mrs. W.