brain

My brain isn’t working anymore….

This cycle I upped my Fermara to 5mg and my ovaries reacted accordingly so I should be ecstatic right?? But I am not, all I can think about is that for the last four months we had one possible egg this time it looks like there is potential for 5 eggs (good news right??). More eggs mean more chances but it also means more missed chances.  I am so was so excited until the IUI (IUI #4) and then I thought, oh my, what if it still doesn’t happen. My dr. briefly brought up the chances of multiples and I quickly shut her up by saying first let’s get pregnant then we will cross that bridge if we get there.

Luckily the holidays have helped keep my mind off TTC this cycle. I am eerily calm. Be not confused thought I still count the days to the end of my TWW at least once a day. I can test on new year’s day!

Thus IUI was more painful of the four; there was a good amount of cramping when he inserted the tube and even cramping (light) till later in the afternoon in my uterus. There was more blood discharge than any of the others which I have to assume came from the tube passing through the cervix. It wasn’t horrible or anything, just not the funniest IUI. It was also with the male dr. which in itself is a huge first. I have always disliked having any man prodding around down there so if it’s not my husband I am usually against it. However maybe since I have had so much poking and probing recently that I am starting to get used to people going in. My husband was in the room so maybe that helped to.

My hubby gave me my trigger shot again this cycle, he is very excited to do them which make me more nervous. This time he poked me a little hard but nothing a few minutes didn’t cure. Strangely I didn’t feel the side effects as strongly as last cycle.  Although my appetite is up!!! Trouble because I have already gained back 3 of the 6 lbs. I had lost. I am totally blaming the fertility meds and not the cookies I have been craving or the extremely lack of physical activity since my last trigger shot. I am in denial but I am content there right now so I will not be pushing the issue until I gain the last three lbs. back at which point I will hate myself.

Other good news was that half of my blood work reports came back and so far everything is neg. meaning I do not appear to have any autoimmune issues interfering with TTC. I did find that 10 vials of blood was a lot. I typically have trouble giving blood as techs have trouble getting a good vein and keeping a good flow. This tech she is a super star! She has done two of my blood works now, both large quantities and she has rocked them both with one poke each and minimal bruising.

Right now I am supposed to be writing a grad school paper that isn’t due until after the holidays but I wanted to get it started so I can relax during the festivities. It really isn’t going so well and my brain is sputtering and not focusing enough to understand the assignment.

Back to my paper I go…

Cheers,

Mrs. W.

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pos OPK and trigger 2 days later, say what!

Friday my OPK was nearly pos i would call it pos, Saturday it was definably pos but my doc on Friday wanted me to trigger Saturday night @ 10pm for a 36hour window to IUI on Mon morning at 9am. I am so confused this goes against everything i have researched and been told by my other doctor. Just to cover my bases we did the baby dance on Thursday, and Saturday and i debating on if we should do it today or save up the little egg fertilizers till Monday.

Trigger injection my self sure no problem but the dosage had me all off. Because i had to do the trigger myself last night at 10pm  they gave me the bottle to mix and then inject which was all fine and dandy, until i realized what the nurse giving the instructions said and how you normally mix a bottle. She said take 1ml of the liquid and add it to the powder bottle. OK EXCEPT its a 10ml bottle and if i did that i would be giving myself one strong dose of hcg. So i did what i though was safe and added all the liquid to the bottle and gave myself a 1ml shot of it. I really didn’t want to run the risk of overstimulating myself, worse case i didn’t give myself enough and therefore didn’t trigger. Good news it the bottle doesn’t expire until 60days so one expensive could be three!

Oh the stress this week, i am just on edge this week all the things are aggravating me to the point where i am stress. This isn’t that normal for me, i can normally calm down and build back up to aggravation but not this last week.

The last couple of cycles i have noticed a trend, the day after my LH surge i begin having trouble sleeping. Ii can not stay asleep as long as i would normally even if i am tired. I also tend to toss and turn during the night and have to use the bathroom in the middle of the night.  Strange right, i guess everything is fare game in the journey to pregnancy.

When i saw the RE i brought up the fact that 3DPO i have trouble between breakfast and lunch with my blood sugar plummeting, only for 4days and she recommend that i half my morning metformine. This is good news but i am confused now on which DPO i am because of this wired IUI triggering.

In GOOD news, i had TWO large follicles this cycle. One was measuring right on and the other was slightly smaller (hence the reason she may have wanted to wait to trigger). This is news for me because the last three cycles i have only had one follicle. Even with this news i will be asking to up my Fermar to 5mg, if a next cycle comes. Another bit of good news with how busy i am TTC is not on the for though of my thoughts like it has been for the last year.

Admission of guilt, i have been having coffee the last two week, not that i have been needing it tremendously it has just been helpful with all the business. I feel guilty because i know i should be having it but with that said here are my rationals; i only have a cup a day with sugar free foofy, and i am not in my TTW. So its OK right?