Thank you Kathryn!

Saturday a package arrived, at first I was like what is this?? Then I realized it was a wonderful package from Kathryn  at Kathryn Finding Fertility and I nearly started to cry (hormones are in full effect). I opened it quickly and was so excited to receive OPK’s and HCG sticks. Reading her card filled my heart with joy. I never thought when I started this blog someone would send me a gift. This has really taught me about how wonderful this community is. She made me a very cute key chain accessory funny enough were my wedding colors so I adorned it to my keys and love how it is a cheerful reminder that I have such great support from my fellow bloggers.

This was very touching to me for many reasons but the one that reached me the most was that it was a perfect gift for someone trying to conceive that is relatively alone on the journey in my everyday life. It felt so good to feel “acknowledged” and “heard” by someone. I was giddy and happy the rest of the day. It also came at the perfect time as I start the OPK’s tomorrow and I had just put one the grocery list to get some.

Sunday I had a cooking club holiday dinner, I even mentioned to my friend in the group about the gift. Which sounds strange to point out except I don’t really talk about my blogging to anyone it is kind of my best kept secret, not to be confused for sham. I love that I can be me here I don’t feel judged about anything I write and I really love it, but people in my everyday are not as great with not judging.

Maybe I am a little silly about all this but gifting is my “language of love” and so to receive this  gift meant more to me than Kathryn may ever know.  I really can’t thank her enough for touching me all the way from the great state of Texas!images

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I had a baby dream

Last night i had a dream…. We had a baby it was months old but then it could walk and singing along to a DVD. Random I know but it is the first time I dreament of use having a child. It really really made me happy I felt like it may be a sign that we are on the right path and that one day we will have one.

Today is cd10 and I was supposed to OPK this AM but I flub it all up. First I forgot then I was like oh shoot and was able to get a small bit more pee out only to then drop the cup as I reached for the OPKs. It’s not prefect but it is what it is.  Today we start doing the deed every other day.. Sounds simple right?.. No clomid has been drying me out and making it really uncomfortable  so attempt one not so great.

I have been reading a lot about women’s taking mucinex to thin out there mucus so starting tomorrow I am going to start taking it so it will be in my system for ovulation. This should help with the deed and getting the spermatids to the top of my tubes. I haven’t read much about  it doing more harm than good.

Last night was nice and quite fourth of July, we stayed home got some KFC and where able to watch several firework shows from just outsiDe our house, bonus to live in flat farm country.

Mrs. W

Biking for fertility

English: Biking in São Carlos, Brazil

English: Biking in São Carlos, Brazil (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Getting all the blood flowing through my body thanks to a nice bike ride, maybe it will help disperse hormones throughout the whole body. My hubby bought me a new bike today, the old beach cruiser from college just wouldnt cut it. With no gears it was hard to ride around on for fun especially on dirt roads. We dusted off the winter wear pumped up his ties and away we went. Today waS perfect for a ride, after the rain passed it was still nice and cool.

Dont get me wrong I was huffing a lil and my quads were definitely burning a little. Might even feel the pain tomorrow. I can only whish I look as good as the chick in the photo!

CD10 starts tomorrow, which means the OPKs also start. This month I am going to do the OPKs until AF comes, because I am starting to wonder if I am a late ovulator. This could be why I am never seeing apositive on the OPKs because I stop doing them when I was “supposed” to ovulate.

My cycles have been fairly regular so I feel like I am ovulating, but I don’t get CM That looks likes egg whites until a week after I was supposed to ovulate.

Topsy turvy stomach last three days, not sure if it was the last of the clomid or the fact I missed four days of metformin, and then switched to the non sustain release. The doctor kinda annoyed me with this so I went back and forth with the pharmacy and finally I got the mg correct and will talk to her When I see here on CD16.

Other possibility is that I have lactose intolerance and I am fairly good about avoiding dairy but I have a soft spot for sour cream and cheese so I may or may not of had too much lately.

Other strange feelings is this whole calming feeling I have been having, while I don’t mind it too much because it helps keep my stress level minimal it find it a bit strange. The blurred vision is still here and I find my self having to focus hard to read random things, I keeping think about seeing the eye dr but haven’t made an appointment yet.

 

I love rain in the summer smells so good. I love rain all year round I feel so connected to water; rain, rivers, pools I love the water.

 

current PCOS journey

16 years ago i just knew something about my cycles just wasn’t what everyone had described it to be, and so began the strange weight gain. At the time its was just hitting puberty weight gain, to me i was so confused.

12 years ago i felt this strange feelings that i just wasn’t going to be able to have kids. Oddly enough my sister was on her her third child in three years. I figure genetics say she is a fertile murtel and i was going to be an old maid.

8 years ago diagnosed with PCOS for the first time, total denial about what the diagnosis. So the weight just wouldn’t come off and i was starting to gain slowly but surely. First prescription for Metformin. Lost some weight in the following year but gained it back the next.

4 years ago diagnosed with PCOS again, new doctor wanted to be sure. My health was out of control it was all over the place, i had weight gain, high blood pressure, depression symptoms, headaches, and stress though the roof. Also had a job that was causing 95% of my problems. All the health problems i was haing were considered to be symptoms of PCOS.

8 months ago diagnosed with PCOS for another time. First time i had ultrasounds of my ovaries to visually confirm PCOS. New doctors and this time i wanted to start trying to conceive (TTC). At about the same time another doctor told me it wasn’t PCOS i had glucose intolerance which strangely enough is a symptom of PCOS. I  was back on Metformin off of any birth control and TTC.

2 month ago after 6 months of TTC naturally and with no positive OPK’s (ovulation predictor kits) i decide it was time to see the OB/GYN about trying something else. It was an awesome first meeting because she heard me out and we really were on the same page. She upped my Metformin to 1500mg and my next cycle i  would be days 3-7 25mg of clomid. Really exited to try it out and was to optimistic it would work.

1 month ago i started taking clomid. WHOA side effects day two was the most angry PMS symptoms i have ever had. Day 1 perfectly fine, no side effects thought i was in the clear. Day 2 i had some mild hot flashes in the evening thought maybe it was just the first heat wave of summer hitting me. Day 3 watch out I was so cranky and agitated for no reason. I swear my husband didn’t love me anymore even though he had been at work all day. Day 4 CRAVINGS after fighting them all day i finally conceded and went to the store bought 42$ of every random junk food i found, luckily it was just craving because the junk food lasted for the next three weeks. I also notice i stated to rub my belly and place my hands on it, it was mildly bloated but nothing major. This was eye raising for me because typically i hate my belly, it is usually one of my least favorite side effects of weight gain. Even my husband knows i hate him touching it.

  • CD14 (cycle day) i went for my first ultrasound to check for follicle growth, sadly nothing on my right ovary and on my left there was a medium size follicle. The follicle growth was on 14mm which is too small to ovulate an egg from it needs to be 21mm or more. My Dr. felt like it could possible continue to grow so i should come back in five days and recheck it. I  am not going to hide it but i was a little sadden and blue for the next few days but though there still might be hope.
  • CD18 follicle recheck, still nothing on the right but the left side had grown 4mm but was still only 18mm, not big enough to ovulate. We discussed our plain of action for the next month, i am upping the clomid to 50mg, and i am going to come in around CD16 this time because my natural cycles are a little longer than the normal 28 day. My cycles are between 30-34 days which is normal for PCOS.
  • CD40 I took as pregnancy test on and it was negative, with mixed emotion as i would of love a miracle. Since i never saw a positive on my OPK’s i figured i never ovulated, therefore i should of started my next cycle on CD34 but nothing has happened.
  • CD42 Sent my OB/GYN a e-mail letting her know where i was at and what she thought i should do next. Response: wait another week if the next cycle doesn’t start by then take another pregnancy test if neg we will discuss our next step.
  • CD43 Today! headache all morning during household cleaning could be allergies could just be a headache but i am not sure how i should be treating my current condition, do i act pregnant and psych my self into think so meaning no meds for headache and defiantly no allergy medications. Who knows i am just going to proceed with caution at this point.

To be continued…