Too early for shopping

Is it strange all I want to do is buy a play yard. For some reason I feel like that is the most important thing. All the things I thought I would want to start buying/shopping for play yard was not on the top of that list. I know its way early but all I can do is think about getting it now. Anyone else have urges to buy things early in pregnancy. I must confess I have been secretly looking on websites like babies-R-Us, buy buy baby, and target to find one that I like and meet might needs (lol what I think are my needs).

As I write this I think I should be researching things like nursing supplies and baby bottle selection. Is it too soon to start a baby registry, of coarse I would keep it secret but I could put all my finds in one place. Um I know this is all too soon but it makes me feel good to prepare I am a big preparer it sooths my anxiety to be prepared ahead of time. This shopping talk is really taking my mind off my worries and in a happy zone.

Another odd note my hubby has started calling me baby mama = strange.

mindful musings,

Mrs. W

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just kidding week 5 and mosquitos attak

Ok let’s go back to last Wednesday I started having some discomfort in my right ovary and it perpetuated through the day and evening. I was getting concern not so much that it was ectopic but hopefully just a cysts on my ovary. Nerves galore and I finally broke down and called OB’s office on Thursday morning. At first they said come in at three then they called back and said come in at noon as there is a little room for concern. OK my heart was RACING and I super nervous and anxious. I was trying to stay in my happy place and breathe lots of breathing exercises.

Get to appointment get my vital and my heart rate was 136, that’s an all-time record for me. Normally my blood pressure goes way up but this time it was my heart rate. I felt like it was to be expected as I was so nervous to see what was going on inside.

Dr. found the sac in my uterus and she measured it at 5 weeks. OMG weeks I thought we were loser to 7. ALARM ALARM. Dr. says based on my IUI date we were right on track and that counting from the first day of my last period was not the best way to count seeing that we had an IUI date. OK I felt a little better but that didn’t answer why we came here.

She looked at my right ovary and low and behold there was a nice size cysts (fluid filled body). It was about 11.79mm. Next my left ovary and it had two cysts. Strangely they done hurt like the left ovary. Today I got to thinking about after reading through the first few chapters of what to expect when you’re expecting. I still have endo and while it subsides it doesn’t go away completely for everyone. So I know my right has more endo than the left and when I put to and to together this could explain the pain. The OB didn’t go over much her main task was just to check that there wasn’t an ectopic pregnancy.

We still have our appointment for next Wednesday which I am still nervous about. The ultrasound showed very little just a sac and a small blimp of something that could be the yolk starting to grow.

I decided I need to start trying to be more optimistic so I bought a pregnancy journal. I wanted to start tracking the moods cravings and so on. Even though I have this in my blog I thought handwritten notes would be more convenient.This is an Aedes albopictus female mosquito ob...

Ok I learned something new and while I might be a myth I find it to be true. Mosquitos like pregnant people more because we are warmer. I went to sleep with no bites woke up with about fifty bites on my arms and legs. hubby might have one or two bites and he slept next to me!! Oh my goodness I already have a problem with one bite itchy till it drives me crazy but 50!! Day one the bites weren’t so bad but by night I was starting to see them swell and get all big and blotchy. So I consulted dr. Google which said to use cortisone cream and I could take Benadryl but one article said to wait till 12 week to use it. Ahhh I toughed it out one night without it and woke at 400 in the AM thanks to cat but perpetuated by the itch.  As soon as hubby woke I asked him to run to the store ASAP to get the cortisone. Itch relief but not all day itch relief, by 5 I couldn’t calm the itch. I decide my sanity was yearning for the Benadryl. I had relief until I awoke this am at around 6am. But the itch was only in two small spots so I spot treated them and I am ok at the moment. What to do moving forward I am not 100% sure because there is conflicting stories on bug repellent during pregnancy. I wonder if that’s true for skin-so-soft by Avon?

I worry like a mad women, oh my this is going to be a lonnnnng pregnancy. My close friend said to save the worry for when my child is a teen. I don’t know if there is going to be a safe point where I can stop worrying, maybe 12 weeks? That sounds so far away and is there really any guarantee that 12 weeks is a safe point?? Maybe around 30 weeks I will stop worrying about the baby and start worrying about me wanting it to be over!!

To be far and make this not a blog about worry I and a pregnancy where all I do is worry, I am going to calm myself and will Dr. Google everything but only once a day.

Cheers,

Mrs. W

week 6.5 am i still pregnant

Chips Ahoy! chocolate chip cookies

Chips Ahoy! chocolate chip cookies (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

Hi everyone, sorry for my disappearance after my last post.  Nothing bad has happened we had a bit of an impromptu trip to southern California/Disneyland.

 

So my first three betas were; 38, 83, 516 so they doubled as hoped.

 

All I can think about for the last two days is that I am not sure if I am still pregnant. Why, because my cramps are subsiding and I don’t have morning sickness. My appetite has changed back to relatively normal. Sure there are other symptoms still there like my sore boobs, I haven’t felt my boobs up this much this often in my life, I strangely feel like a 12-year-old boy who is feeling boobs for the first time. Why do I feel them up so much… to see if I am still pregnant crazy I know but it’s my symptom.  Food has not really been amazing but I did have a strange craving for famous Ann’s chocolate chip cookies, how I know this is a craving is that never in my life have I wanted them. We were at whole foods when the craving came on so I bought some whole foods brand thinking this will work…WRONG. Went to target and found a box, I even opened the box (ok my husband opened the box) I eat the cookies in the store. While some of you might not think twice about doing this I have been big on never doing this because I was traumatized by my aunt at a young age.

 

I am going nuts over not knowing if this baby is there and is going to stick around. I even start to get some serious mood swings over it. They last about 10minutes and poor hubby gets the blunt of them. Oh other side effect that I don’t know is common but I am running so hot. I could live in an ice box and still be hot. Oh and I have itchy skin all over and if I scratch they turn into bumps. Does anyone else itch? I lathered up in lotion which helped some.

 

My first u/s is next Wednesday I should be 7.5 weeks. My friend and my hubby both think I should ask to come in sooner to help ease my nerves. But I am really trying hard to stick it out. Though I may lose my mind it will be worth it right!!!???? OMG I had a very graphic nightmare last night that I had M/C. Oh my gosh I woke up with a racing heart and great fear. To make matter worse I lied to my hubby again and told him I didn’t know what my nightmare was about. Why did I lie he wouldn’t of been mad or anything, its long to be a long week.

 

I am now going to go finish the box of cookies and take my 2nd prenatal. I got new ones from the health food store and they don’t make me burp B12 or fish and thus I will take them.

 

Fellow TTC’ers once you get a BFP the battle just begins while I am not sad and depressed like the end of most cycles I am going crazy trying to control my emotions of not getting too excited and emotions of is it over.

 

Sorry for my lack of posts I will be back in full force soon!

 

Cheers,

 

Mrs. W

 

Lab test results

Oh my goodness, I really enjoyed all the great feedback I got from everyone after my last post. It was so awesome to be able to tell people because we have only told three other people that are close to us and know that we have been TTC (none are family, that’s the next post). You are all so wonderful.

First to the blood test results, I just got the actual numbers from the OB today.  I did the first draw on Tuesday afternoon after I got the Positive HCG test.  The Hcg level on Tuesday was on the low side of the scale at 38 but my doctor was happy that by Thursday (48hrs later) the level doubled. Ii do not have the number yet for the Thursday test. All I know is she was satisfied and asked if I wanted to retest on Monday to see if the number double x2 by then. Of course I want too!! I need to know now if this is a sticky baby and not something to get my hopes up too high over.  Does anyone think I should worry of the low HCG level??

Now onto things I have done that I probably shouldn’t have done.

First I had a scare Thursday night. I woke up around midnight from stomach pains that were even in my dreams!! I thought maybe my stomach was upset then I thought the worst. I did have some ever so slight bright pink spotting, which only fueled the fear fire. I couldn’t sleep and I couldn’t control thinking the worst was about to happen.  I decided to watch the Grey’s anatomy I had recorded earlier in the night and it didn’t help that was the episode where Grey falls down the stairs nine months pregnant and then goes into labor (sorry if I just spoiled it for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet). I was encouraged to go back to sleep with the Hubby and was able to fall back to sleep. First thing I did when I opened my eyes was to check things out. Good news everything was back to normal aka no more spotting. The worst part of the whole incidence was for some reason when my hubby asked if I was spotting was that I lied and said no. Why??? I don’t know, I guess I didn’t want to scare him too.  How long before I stop checking for AF??  I do it every time which has increased because of the frequent pee trips to the bathroom.

Second thing I did which I know is a big no no is I bought this maternity dress from Target that I had previously spotted and liked and wanted but I wasn’t pregnant. This time hubby couldn’t say you’re not pregnant so shouldn’t get it. Not only did I buy it but I paid full price, again something I don’t love to do because I swear everything goes on sale at target after I buy it. Oh but wait I also scoped out the sale rack which I love to do and found another maternity top marked way down to less than ten buck so I had to buy it too. While the TTC’er in me knows this could bring bad karma the frugal part of me was satisfied. I know i probably wont be that big this summer but i still like it! Oh and i cant wear it to class yet because the pregnant girl in class has the same dress, and yes i was envious when i saw her wearing it after i had already wanted it.

 

Dress i had to have!

Dress i had to have!

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Shirt i paid 6 something for.

Shirt i paid 6 something for.

Can you tell i love the color coral!

While I know those are no no’s we have also been getting a little ahead of ourselves with thinking in the future. We have been trying for so long and all that time I have worked so hard in not thinking too far in the future but as soon as I saw that positive (once the shock wore off) I let all those what if’s and now we can’s come flooding in. For heaven’s sake it’s only been four days and I don’t even feel pregnant and I am already thinking of this and that and all the things we have to start doing right now. Don’t laugh but on that list is; start buying diapers and wipes,  the room we would like for our child is the storage room/gym and so we need to switch all those things to another room, I need to clean the house top to bottom before I get nausea or too big, MONEY, do we buy a house now or wait etc…. My hubby is less than thrilled, in fact I have him cleaning the carpets and the couches right now, to be fare they needed to be done now either way.

Also sorry for taking so long to post, but Thursday I kind of over did it running errands and had a bad night sleep so I laid on couch pretty much all day.

Not sure if I will keep this up but here are the week 4updates:

Symptoms: Sore boobs, peeing frequently, and hot flashes (not sure if this is pregnancy related but it keeps happening)

Thank you all for being so supportive it really makes me so very happy.

Still pregnant,

Mrs. W.

Be prepare to beblown away

Are you sitting down??

Tuesday AM when i still had not seen AF i decided to do a HCG test. Nothing to abnormal right, another cycle another preg test. Well to be utter shock i got a BFP.

If you have been following my last few post i had written this cycle off and was looking into IVF. So i think i still don’t believe it to be true and either does hubby. Really i still keep check to see if Af is coming and with every lil cramp i think “Oh there it is”. I emailed my OB and she sent in for blood work. Which i still haven’t received the results from. However this morning i had another positive and tomorrow i go in for the 48hr blood work. Fingers crossed my numbers are doubling!! it will be a big hurdle for us to reach.

I we are in shock and it really isn’t sinking in. In fact when i showed hubby the positive test he went back to sleep after (WTF). I really don’t want to put the cart before the horse so i am not going to let myself get too emotionally attached as we all know so many things can happen in the next few weeks. I was going to wait to post this tomorrow or when we get some blood work confirmation but couldn’t hold it in.

We are happy but in shock and even a little what did we do. I guess this is what happens when you TTC. After nearly and a half and seven IUI’s countless meds we have a BFP. I cant tell you how strange it is to get to write this post, after reading so many others and slightly loosing a bit of hope with each passing cycle. I hope other TTC’ers find hope that it can and will happen for them too. I know it can be hard to read these post, but this is just as much a new journey of uncertainties starting for me.

Keep you posted!

Cheers,

Mrs. W.

How do you know its time for IVF?

I really hate to jump the gun but i am starting to think it would be wise to skip injectables and go straight for IVF. We are not rich by any means and really neither of these are a great financial option. What happens when you spend a couple of grand  out of pocket for injectables and it fails and then you have to move onto IVF but you have already spent so much on the injectables. How do you decide??

I really do trust the medical field but i also feel that everyone needs to be there own advocate. I think i am scared of not having many more options at this point. I  also feel as though i am racing the clock and our budget.

Mrs. W

Called the RE for another apt

So for those of you whom follow me you know i see and OB for my treatments (mainly because its covered my insurance). November of last year i saw the RE for the first time and she asked that we do two more IUI with my OB as the treatment plan would be the same with her except insurance wouldn’t cover it with her. Well on the third IUI after i saw her i realized i needed to push for the LAP because i thought i had ENDO, guess what i was right. Since then we where optimistic that we might now be able to conceive after the endo removal. We are currently on out second IUI after the LAP and Tues is the end of the TWW. However i am not feeling optimistic that i am going to get a BFP. Really i am feeling like i need to push for the next level of medications (injectables). I  have decided to ask my father for the money to cover the cycle and to see how it goes.

I called the RE’s office and we have an appointment for May 14! That will be one week into my next cycle.  i don’t want to skip a cycle because of the endo so i will continue on with Fermara from my OB. They also want more labs done and labs for the Hubby. I guess the labs for the hubby are standard for working with his samples basic infectious diseases.

My husband says i am pregnant so all this is wasted effort. I am not so sure my boobs are starting to feel sore and my appetite has changed all signs AF is almost here. I am preparing for it this time. I need to get everything out of the way so when it comes i am not struggling with emotions and pain that interfere with my life activities. I  know this is negative of me but i am trying to avoid the hurt that is going to come.

This month is going to be a good action packed month for me and the hubby. He is on vacation so we are going to drag our butts out and have adventures everyday. The dogs will reap the rewards!

Cheers,

Mr. W